Fly Away Home

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I know I told you about how Jay got me Guitar Hero II for our anniversary, (or, as Bean calls it, Bitar Hewo) but I didn't mention his established history as the world's best gift-giver. He's everything that (stereotypically) women wish men were when it comes to gift giving. He's thoughtful, extravagant, creative, blah, blah, blah. And ladies (or guys), if you're sitting there cussing me right now, stop. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be the worst gift giver in the family? It sucks, and every gift-giving holiday I stress out hardcore over what to get Jay. It's not that gifts are that important, especially when you're as poor as we are, but I like to show that I put some thought into it.

I think I may have finally acheived the pinnacle of gift-giving success this year for Father's Day. I bought Jay an introductory flying lesson. He opened the certificate, dropped his jaw and said, "You're shitting me!" I've never seen him react like that. I can't wait to see how he likes it when he actually goes. And I'm going to be such a big dork, taking his picture with the plane and all that. Hope he doesn't get embarassed!

How Did You Find Me?

Friday, June 15, 2007

I know what you're thinking. Gone for a month, and this is the kind of material she comes back with? The answer is... yes, dammit. I'm not good for much but being a food source at the moment, and that's not very exciting.

Recent search results:

"my glasses" "photobucket" "contacts" -"new glasses" site:blogspot.com
Could we be more specific, please?
wedding pictures rex grossman
I'm very sorry, but I am not the leading source for athletes wedding pictures.
wifes personal toilet, loser eat, lick her
I don't even want to know.
do dolphins have beaks or snots
I'm sure if they do have snots, they streak down their face while swimming.
how to get a spidermonkey in indianapolis
I don't recall ever having written about spider monkeys...Hmm
how to make a ouija bored
Read it the phone book.
vampire is trying to spank those kids pictures
I could be wrong, but I think vampires prefer biting.

Who's Got the Booze?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Yeah, I’ve been gone forever. My computer broke. It sucked. Here’s the Cliff Notes version of my past month:

I had a baby. For blog purposes, we’ll refer to her as Daisy. Everything went okay, and she is, naturally, perfect.

Moo. Just call me Bessie.

Somehow, I got old. My little bitty baby cousins are now a high school senior and in their second year of college, respectively. Yikes!

I figured out how I’m going to get rich. Or, at least, how I could get rich if I knew how to write software. Someone needs to create a database of celebrities who do voice-overs in commercials, and the products they shill.

Speaking of celebrities, I have a new celebrity crush. Zach Braff is absolutely adorable! I’m typically up for feedings late enough to catch the late night “Scrubs” reruns, so I’ve only just now caught on to this show. It’s fantastic; someone should have clued me in sooner.

There’s a serial arsonist running around Indianapolis. Fortunately, they’re just burning abandoned buildings so far. Let’s hope it stays that way. 13 fires in 17 nights is pretty messed up.

I’m so happy to be back!