Under Surveillance

About A Girl

Once upon a time, I was in a video store with my then boyfriend trying to pick out a movie to watch. I picked up John Carpenter's Vampires, and proceeded to tell the boy about the coolest scene in the movie, where a guy uses his hot-from-being-fired gun to cauterize a wound he received. Said boyfriend looks at me, shakes his head, and says, "You're not like other girls, Betty."

Name::Braindead Betty
From::Indy, Indiana, United States

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Thursday, August 31, 2006

My home computer stopped being a butthead and let me load my wedding pictures. You can check them out on my flickr page if you're interested.

Aren't we a lovely couple?

And I can't do a fuck off and die when I'm in such a good mood. It's an impossibility.

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I'm no match for Jack Handy

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

*The guys in back are listening to "Lay Down Sally" right now. I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all day.

*Speaking of songs stuck in your head, if I hear that Gnarls Barkley song "Crazy" again today, I may just go crazy. Do radio stations not realize that they ruin songs by playing them so much?

*I just helped a customer who lives on Mary Jane Circle. I swear. You can't make this shit up.

*This morning when I walked into my living room, my nose was assaulted with the stench of dog piss. The whole front half of my house, in fact, stinks of it. But I cannot find where the offense took place. When I get home from work tonight, I'll have to start pulling furniture out to make sure it's not underneath the couch or something. And then the dogs and I are going to have a little talking-to. I doubt they're looking forward to that one.

*My sunburn is at the itchy stage. Which I'm sure is no end of amusing to the people around me.

*I heard Social Distortion playing over the muzac at the restaraunt we ate at last night. Like what happened with Sarah of the Goon Squad, it made me feel a little old, and a lot less "edgy." (Because I'm edgy, dammit!)

*My local Irish Fest is coming up. I can't wait! I'm probably going to volunteer again this year. The great thing about volunteering is that you get free beer. Ahh, you gotta' love the Irish.

*My daughter is the queen of gross. Yesterday she grabbed my face, tilted it up, and said "Eeewww, mommy has boogies." I'm no end of proud.


MySpace Misery

Monday, August 28, 2006

Yes, I succumbed to the peer pressure a long time ago and set up a MySpace page. At first I loved it. And still do, mostly. I caught up with some folks from high school, keep up to date on most of my favorite bands, not to mention find all kinds of new local bands. Lately it's just gotten out of hand though. I'm starting to wonder if the good stuff is worth all the trouble.

Recently I was contacted by someone I haven't spoken to in years. By choice. Granted, he said he was reaching out because he wanted to apologize for "doing wrong by me" because he's "not an ass anymore" and wants to "atone" for the things he did back in the day. And this guy didn't just treat me like crap, he treated me like a big steaming pile of elephant crap. As in, told my friends that he had gotten syphilis from me. And when I had my (negative) test results back, he recanted and said that he had gotten syphilis from his cat. I don't even wanna' know what he was doing with his cat. But that was when we were all a lot younger. And because I'm a sucker and an optimist, I told him there was no need to apologize; that it was all water under the bridge. I seriously need to grow a pair. I'll let anybody get away with anything as long as they 'fess up and apologize.

I also have reconnected with a girl that I was really good friends with in high school. We lost contact when she entered an abusive relationship and her asshole boyfriend decided she couldn't have friends. Especially friends who encouraged her to think for herself. So of course I was out of the picture. I was overjoyed to find that she had found the strength to leave the abusive asshole and was currently going back to college. My joy evaporated quickly with each bulletin that she sent out. She has become a raging Republican. Which I may not agree with, but I don't choose my friends based on their political affiliations. The problem is that she sends out increasingly offensive bulletins full of patriotic brainwashing rhetoric. It's gotten to the point where it has crossed the line into blatant racism. The most recent bulletin she sent out was crabbing about a stamp the USPS was planning on putting out commemerating a Muslim holy day. Because, of course, all Muslims are responsible for what a few radicals have done. < /sarcasm > I know the easy solution is to stop being her friend, but I feel honor-bound, in a sense, to try and help her. Even though 9 times out of 10, things like this are bound to fail. I just don't know.

I guess I could ignore everything except the bands.


I enjoy being made a liar of

Apparently my new template is working fine now. At least it is in all three major browsers (Opera, Firefox, and IE) on my computer. If anyone sees any problems, please, leave a comment and let me know. Thanks a ton!


Technical Difficulties

Friday, August 25, 2006

Please excuse the wonkiness of my current template...rest assured, I am working on getting it right, I just don't know how long it's going to take.


Are you lonesome tonight?

Thursday, August 24, 2006

No personal offense, but good. 'Cause I am, too.

Jay finally got a job, but the first thing he has to do is go out of town for a week. He left this morning, and will be back Wednesday night. This will be the first time we've been apart more than 24 hours since we got together. I'm of a few different minds about this. Of course I'm going to miss him. Of course I'll miss the security of having a man in the house (though I do have two big dogs and a .12 gauge, so that's not so much of an issue), but I'm also terrified. I'm terrified that I'm going to love it.

I mean, think about it. The whole house, all to myself, for a whole week! Well, except for the rugrat, of course. No having to deal with dirty man socks laying wherever he decides to throw them, no toilet seat left up, no middle-of-the-night-right-when-I'm-in-the-middle-of-an-awesome-dream groping, no nagging, cooking exactly what I want for dinner...It sounds kind of heavenly, to tell you the truth.

I know it's good for a relationship for each person to have their own personal time, and Jay & I try to abide by that. We have our respective girls and boys nights out. I game every Monday, every Wednesday he has band practice, etc., etc. Our personal time has just never extended for this long, and hasn't included time in the house, really, before.

Anyone care to place any bets about how long it'll be until I get a whiny post about how I miss him so much up?


FOAD Thursday #2

It's this time again already?

Oh well, fuck off and die, annoying coworker. You know I bring the same thing to eat for breakfast everyday; in fact I've been doing it for over a year. You know that I pack exactly enough to satisfy myself. Your constant questioning whether I brought some for you is a pain in my ass. Especially when you get upset if I say no, but still try to play it off like a joke. You're not fooling anyone. You're a grown woman, I should think you'd be able to make your own breakfast, hopefully one that fits into your diet plan, like mine does not. Which you make sure to bitch about if I do share with you, while I'm still hungry. Grrr, you're so irritating!

Also, a big fuck off and die to the semi driver that forced me off the road yesterday. I understand that semis make wide right turns, and have no problem getting out of their way. But do you really need 40 feet to get back into your appropriate lane?


Things that make you go "hmm."

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A month after Paris Hilton says she's going to be abstinent for a year, herpes cases are down in America, especially in the young.

Coincidence? Who knows...


Inaugural FOAD

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I'm not much for regular features on a blog, but I have to say that "Fuck Off and Die Thursday" is something I could really get into.

I know I've been talking a lot about animals lately, and I'm going to continue the trend with my Fuck off and Die post.

Without any further ado, fuck off and die country superstar Troy Gentry. How dare you purchase a tame bear so you can stick it full of arrows, videotape it, and then edit the tape to make yourself look like a big-shot hunter? I personally think you should be stuck in a cage and shot full of arrows yourself. Maybe then we could videotape it and make the tape look like we tracked you, a la "The Most Dangerous Game." Eh, it's been done.


Traumatizing the Youth of America

Jay and I are both animal-lovers, so it's really no shock that Bean is as well. From the time she could crawl, she's been chasing both dogs and the cat all over our house. I try to encourage this love of the wild kingdom whenever I can. Unfortunately, our house and schedules don't allow for the type of menagerie I would like to have, but we do what we can. We watch Discovery's Animal Planet, we have a family pass to the zoo, when she gets old enough I plan on taking her with me to volunteer at the Humane Society, etc.

Recently an opportunity to expose Bean to another approach to animals presented itself. The State Fair is currently going on here in Indiana. And could we really call it a State Fair if it didn't cause some type of life-long trauma in the kids?

Bean was most excited about seeing the horses. Before we had even parked she was yelling that she wanted to see horses NOW! She was singing a different tune when we actually got in the draft horse barn. I don't think she realized how big horses actually are, and it was overwhelming for her. Not to mention the crowds, the heat, and the stink. She took it fairly well in stride, though, and even started to put her hand into the horse stall to pet the horse...
...at which point my over-protective mother instinct kicked in. I pulled her hand back from the bars and said the horse might bite her. (I know it probably wouldn't have, but it's the same principle of petting a strange dog unless you've asked its owners. You never know what an animal might do. But I digress.) Bean screwed up her forehead, looked at me, and asked "Horse bite?" I told her, yes, it might. She looked back at the horse, then back to me, and her eyes got as big around as saucers. Her leap in logic became apparent when she asked me, incredulously, "Horse eat?" At that point I started laughing too hard to reassure her that horses are not merciless child-eaters. And from that point on she became petrified of the horses. At least, the real ones. She didn't have a problem with the horses on the carousel...
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And that was our year at the fair. I wonder how much it's going to cost me when she tells this story to her therapist years down the road.


Scars Are Souvenirs You Never Lose

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Have you seen my link for Inked Blog over in my blogroll? If you're at all interested in body art, you should go check it out. Their most interesting & frequent feature has people writing in to share the stories behind their tattoos. I've thought about it, but none of my tattoos are horribly interesting to anybody but me.

I have 3 tattoos, and they’re all situated in noticeable areas because, really, what’s the point in spending all that time and money on a tattoo that only you can see? Here you can see my eye of Ra tattoo on my chest :
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I also have a Celtic knot on my back and Bean’s name on my left ankle. And a whole host of others that I want to get, but haven’t yet.

It can get pretty interesting when I’m in public with Bean. You’d be surprised how many people think you’re an unfit parent simply because you’re inked. I get quite a few disapproving glares, but the best is when people actually talk to me. They usually fall into one of 3 categories. This first is little old ladies who usually ask “Is she yours?” and then tsk-tsk to themselves as they walk away. Those I don’t mind so much, as they’re harmless and tend to say sweet things to Bean. The second is men who see baby & tattoo and automatically think easy lay. These I can handle as long as they can take a hint and aren’t too crude. The third category is the worst. They’re the yuppy-SUV-driving-Botoxed soccer moms. They typically don’t actually talk to me, but about me. They pull their kids away from Bean at the park like she has leprosy. I think it goes back to the old-fashioned assumption that tattooed women are immoral. Jay doesn’t seem to have as much of a problem with it as I do.

On the other hand, it’s so much fun watching Bean learn my tattoos. She’ll sit and trace them with her fingers with a look of wonder in her eyes. It makes me wonder if she’ll get inked when she gets older. Ah, by the time she’s old enough to, it’ll be passé and no one will want to anymore.


Animal News...

Friday, August 11, 2006

Maybe, just maybe, you're a total loser like me and imagined that someday people would be extinct and the Earth would be a utopic land of hedonism and luxury run by dolphins. My hopes have been shattered thanks to shocking new research that shows that dolphins talk behind each others' backs.

...Dolphins are not to be trusted. They gossip. We know this because we know their names. Each bottlenose individual identifies itself by a unique pattern of whistles and clicks along the lines of woo-woo-wee-wee, or even woo-wee-woo-woo-wee-woo. What was not known until the Scottish research, however, is that a pair of dolphins use the name of a third dolphin when that third dolphin isn't present. In other words, dolphins gossip.

We had a chance for a dolphin encounter when we went on the cruise and now I'm glad we didn't take it. Hard telling what those bitches would've said about us as soon as we left.


On a more serious note, my local zoo has just experienced a tragedy. Unfortunately, 4 penguins that were in the process of being transferred to another zoo were involved in a car accident and died. Poor little fellas. I thought as a tribute, that I would include some fun facts about penguins, that I found here.
    Male and female penguins can be distinguished by their beak size. Not exactly unlike humans.
    Penguins wings are actually called "flippers" and they do more closely resemble the flippers of fish rather than the wings of other birds.
    Penguins secrete an oil from their uropygial gland, which waterproofs their feathers.
    Penguins were the movie stars that were able to set a record for second highest grossing theatrical documentary
    Penguins are mostly monogamous, and both parents take an active role in caring for the chicks.


A Mullet Would Complete the Package

Thursday, August 10, 2006

There was a little blurb in the local paper’s health section that said shampoos and soaps containing lavender and tea tree oils can cause breast growth in boys. While I feel sorry for the boys this happened to, I couldn’t help buy immediately think of the possibility of switching your man’s soap so he’ll have a little more sympathy when you complain about the girls. Of course, you’ll be stuck with a guy who has man-boobs then. I can’t decide if it would be worth it.


Meme Vol. I

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I'm not usually one to do a lot of memes, but the bibliophile inside me couldn't resist this one...

Use the following instructions for the list of books:
    Bold the ones you've read.
    Italicise books you would like to read but haven't yet
    Italicise and bold books you're currently reading
    Bold and strike through books you tried to read and abandoned out of disinterest
    Underline and bold books that are favorites
    Add four recent reads to the end.

And the meme commences...

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter 6) - J.K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3) - J.K. Rowling
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Book 4) - J.K. Rowling
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter 5) - J.K. Rowling
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Book 1) - J.K. Rowling
Neuromancer - William Gibson
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Book 2) - J.K. Rowling
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Ender's Game (The Ender Saga) - Orson Scott Card
Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert
The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera
Hey Nostradamus! - Douglas Coupland
The Nature of Blood - Caryl Phillips
Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules - Ed. David Sedaris
The Last Continent - Terry Pratchett
The Book of Skulls - Robert Silverberg
The Beekeeper's Apprentice - Laurie R. King
Persepolis 2 - Marjane Satrapi
The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner
A Wild Sheep Chase - Haruki Murakami
The Bridge of Birds - Barry Hughart
Foundation - Isaac Asimov
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Jesus' Childhood Friend - Christopher Moore
The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle
The Crying of Lot 49 - Thomas Pynchon
Gods in Alabama - Joshilyn Jackson

My four:
Emma - Jane Austen
My Name is Asher Lev - Chaim Potok
Pawn of Prophecy (Book 1 of the Belgariad) - David Eddings
Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

Feel free to continue the list!


Bits & Pieces

Monday, August 07, 2006

Remember being 16? Imagine being 16 and having your mother tell the national news that you've "...never had a boyfriend and seemed to be content with that." I feel so bad for this girl when she has to go back to school.
Granted, this girl did something royally stupid, but come on Mom. It's at least half your fault for not following up with the daughter. I can only imagine how that would have gone in my house:
"Hey Mom; I'm going to Canada with some friends. I need a passport."
"The hell you are!"

And that would've been the end of the story.


The spam gods smiled on me today. I got two emails in a row with subject lines of "Gold & Diamond" "And good for your penis" That deserves a chuckle.


I spent a good bit of Friday with my foot firmly in my mouth. In fact, I discovered that lemon is the best relish for toe jam. Horseradish was a close second.
This is the reason why people think I'm stuck up so much of the time. It's not that I don't like talking to people, it's that I make inexcusable faux pas when I do. My choices are either to not talk or get drunk. And getting drunk doesn't stop the mistakes, it just stops me caring about them. Friday I made inappropriate jokes about death, masturbation and how pathetic one of my friends is. In the space of an hour. I'm just a thrill-a-minute, can't you tell?


100 Things

Friday, August 04, 2006

Really, I love reading other people's 100 things; it always makes me feel like I know them so much better afterwards. I thought I'd go ahead and do one, too.

1. I'm not a religious person. At all.
2. I have no idea what I want to be when I "grow up." I'm running out of time to decide.
3. I have artistic vision, but no artistic talent.
4. I love tattoos. I have 3, and so many more that I'm planning in my head. I just need the time and money to get them done.
5. I'm a fish out of water.
6. I love outdoor sports. Kayaking, caving, rock-climbing, fishing, etc.
7. I'm a pushover.
8. I know how to swing dance. At least, I used to. It's been a few years since I've had occasion to use this knowledge.
9. My heritage is part-Irish, part-English and part-Gypsy. I live up to the Irish part with my love of whiskey, the English part with my sense of propriety, and the Gypsy part with my mysticism.
10. I'm a very picky eater. It's insanity. I don't like rice.
11. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people mispronounce words. Like "nuke-u-lar" for nuclear and "an-tie-thee-sis" for antithesis.
12. I want to be a pirate. I've wanted to be a pirate for years, even before Pirates of the Caribbean came out. Although it was that ride that started my love of pirates, when I was 3.
13. I'm a recovering drug addict. I've been clean for 4 years now. Yay me!
14. I always play the role of peace keeper.
15. I've always been one of the boys. Growing up it was all He-Man & Thundercats. As I got older it went to bugs and snot.
16. I pathologically make to-do lists. And don't do half the stuff on them.
17. I'm terrified of thunderstorms. I don't know why.
18. I hate washing dishes. If I could give up any chore forever, this would be it.
19. I love my freckles. Again with the Irish heritage.
20. The Simpsons is my favorite TV show. D'oh!
21. I'm more likely to be captivated by an intruiging lyric in a song than I am an intricate guitar riff. This is probably because I don't know how to play an instrument.
22. I'm a geek. Completely and totally. Sci-fi, RPG's, etc.
23. I can be shy around new people or large groups of people. People sometimes mistake this for being stuck-up. The only way I've found to get around this is to get drunk.
24. Driving scares me, but I do it anyway. I'm prone to having panic attacks when I drive.
25. I'd rather go barefoot. I've always been this way. It reminds me of summertime and childhood.
26. I stole my cousin's bike when I was 10, and promptly wrecked it. I completely believe in karma.
27. I love trivia. Especially the completely pointless kind.
28. Everyone is either a Beatles person or an Elvis person. I'm a Beatles person.
29. I was an extra in a movie once. You've probably never seen it. I did get to meet some movie stars though. Ben Affleck & Rachel Weisz.
30. I can't stand milk. It's disgusting.
31. My nephew once said that none of his friends in school has a cool aunt like me. I think this was the best compliment I've ever received.
32. I dye my hair out of boredom.
33. If I'm not at work, chances are good that I'll be wearing a bandanna. I love 'em.
34. The thing I miss most about living in the country is a good view of the night sky. There're too many lights in the city. It makes stargazing difficult.
35. I have no internal sense of time, direction, temperature, anything.
36. I like dangly earrings. I know this is embracing my inner "girly" self, but I don't care.
37. I'm fascinated and horrified at the same time by serial killers. One of my exes suggested that I go into criminal profiling, because my interest would just be creepy otherwise.
38. I was diagnosed with "repetitive stress arthritis" in my hands when I was 19 years old. My mom feels so justified about having told me to quit popping my knuckles all the time when I was younger now.
39. I wish I could afford Lasik surgery. I can't wear contacts anymore, because I had an ulcerated cornea when I was 20, and I hate my glasses.
40. I took a don't-stand-too-close-to-the-curtains flamer to my senior prom. We had a blast.
41. Said prom date became my first roommate when I moved out of my parents house.
42. I have always wanted a nickname. Never had one.
43. When I was young I wanted to be a vet when I grew up. The thought of having to put animals to sleep is what discouraged me from following this dream.
44. My sister used to dress me up like I was her personal doll and take pictures. I have a polaroid where she dressed me up like I was Madonna (complete with cone breasts) when I was 3 years old.
45. No, I will not be posting that picture.
46. I had a lot of trouble finding myself in high school. I went through the jock thing, the drama thing, the grunge thing, the goth thing, and the raver thing. In that order.
47. My ex-fiance and I had a lot of hard times, but he probably saved my life. He did a lot to help me get drug-free.
48. I used to cut myself. This is when I was also writing a lot of really bad teen angst poetry and reading a lot of Sylvia Plath.
49. I'm a sub. If you know what that means, great, if you don't know, don't ask.
50. One of my favorite parts of being a mom is going back and watching all the Disney animated movies again. My favorite one is Aladinn.
51. I carry my camera with me at all times. At least I did, before it got stolen along with the rest of my purse.
52. I love playing in the rain.
53. I'm 24 years old, and know absolutely nothing about proper make-up technique. This is sad.
54. I've had 5 different body piercings, but they're all gone now.
55. Don't tell Jay this, and I'll deny I said it 'till the day I die, but, yeah, he totally wears the pants in our relationship.
56. I'm a lousy cook. I'm working on this one, though.
57. I'm extremely gullible, and a bit supersticious. This combination adds up to one great conspiracy theorist.
58. I would've gone to carousel. I never would've had the courage to be a runner.
59. I'll go ahead and get this out of the way so you can hate me if you want to. I got pregnant when I was an addict. I terminated the pregnancy. I have to live with that every day of my life.
60. I always think of the best snappy comeback 2 hours after I needed it.
61. My biggest hero is my uncle. He died due to complications of AIDS when I was very young, and honestly, I don't remember very much about him. But from what I can infer between the lines when my prissy aunts & uncles bitch about him, I think we would've gotten along smashingly.
62. I love shocking my prudish family members.
63. I still play RPG's. As I've said before, and will say again, I'm a total dork.
64. I cry obnoxiously during movies. To the point that I don't like going to the movie theater; I prefer to rent the DVD.
65. I also cry while reading books. I find it easier to become emotionally invested when I'm creating the visuals myself. That made me sound kind of crazy.
66. I still get carded for the silliest stuff. Like "R" rated movies, when I do go.
67. I've fallen asleep every time I've ever tried to watch "Snatch." But I love, love, love "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels."
68. I'm a certified lifeguard and swim like a fish, but I'm terrified of swimming in the ocean. I don't want a crab to pinch my toe off, or step on a jellyfish or anything like that.
69. Because of that, I have no idea why I thought a Caribbean vacation was good honeymoon option.
70. Underwater scooter, however? Not a problem.
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71. I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth.
72. I would love to go sky-diving at some point in my life.
73. I will never go snow-skiing however. I've heard way too many horror stories, and I'm clumsy enough on my own two feet.
74. I'm a hypochondriac.
75. I have two doggies named Jedi & Sith and a cat named Rogue.
76. I am not a cat person. Not even close. But my cat is cool, and she's a mouser.
77. I once had a cat that was the spawn of the devil, and was mute.
78. I want to be a badass. I'm too self-consious about my lack of bad-assery to sign up for any type of martial arts or kickboxing classes though.
79. Jay and I's first dance as husband and wife? The Ramones "I Wanna' Be Your Boyfriend."
80. I have no secrets at all from my mother.
81. I played French Horn in Jr. High band. I was horrible.
82. Mental illness runs in my mom's side of the family. I got off pretty lucky with "mild anxiety disorder." Whatever the hell that means. Who doesn't get panic attacks anymore?
83. I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in 8th grade. How wrong they were.
84. I hate gossips.
85. I'm very interested in Ancient Egyptian culture.
86. I didn't like The Da Vinci Code all that much. I found it very "meh."
87. I'm not a nail-biter, I'm a nail-picker. They're two very different things, even if they both leave your nails looking like shit.
88. I'm very shy to the point of appearing stuck-up when first meeting people. Unless I'm drunk, then everybody's my best friend.
89. I can kick myself in the forehead. Don't ask how I know this, just trust me.
90. My zodiac sign is Cancer. I'm a very typical cancer, too. Moody, introspective, family oriented, etc.
91. I would like two more children, but I'm terrified that I'll have to deal with secondary infertility like my mother before me.
92. I believe in fate.
93. I play spider solitaire like it's goin' out of style.
94. I had to get a playstation solely so I could play Final Fantasy. Pretty much everything else I play on the X-Box.
95. I go abso-fuckin-lutely nuts for Halloween. I'm already planning this year's costumes.
96. I let Jay think I'm a lot more helpless than I actually am. This helps keep his male ego inflated. Besides, who really wants to unclog a toilet if they don't absolutely have to?
97. I don't have a competitive bone in my body. This frustrated my dad to no end when I was growing up.
98. I would absolutely love to learn to play the bass guitar.
99. I'm a fairly good shot, but I've never shot anything alive. Only immobile targets and clay pigeons.
100. Everyone always acts like this is shocking, but I don't like the movie Spaceballs. It's not the movie's fault though. I just have bad associative memories of what else happened the night I first saw it.

So that's my 100 things. I hope you feel like you know me a little better.


How Much Robutussin Is Supposed To Be a Dose?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I think my generic, store-brand Tussin is making me a bit loopy. Examples?

1. I just called it my "cough-ey medicine-ey."

2. I'm going to see my favorite cousin tonight because he just got back from marine basic training. Even though he just learned 50 ways to kill a person, I intend on calling him Jarhead and giggling maniacially all night. I don't think he'd really kill me. I'm too sweet to kill, right?

3. Bean has entered a licking phase, and I think it's hilarious. In fact, I lick her right back.

4. I just used the word "overjoyed" in an email to a frat boy. (In order to maintain my street cred, I feel compelled to explain that I work at a company that caters to fratboys.)

5. I can't think of a number five, but my OCD will not let me end on number four. And I'm giving in.

Maybe I shouldn't blog under the influence of cough syrup.


Beauty and the Sick

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I'm back to feeling like a human at least, even if I'm not 100% better yet today. I hate being sick. Jay hates it when I'm sick, too. I like to be babied when I'm sick, while he's one of those "go out in the woods and die by yourself" kind of guys. We both treat each other the way we would like to be treated when we're sick, so it doesn't work out very well. At least he's good at taking care of the rest of the household when I'm sick, so I really shouldn't complain because he's not waiting on me hand and foot.

Like I said, I'm still not 100% back to normal, so I'd like to direct you all to Punk in Suburbia for a well-timed and well-written rant.

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What fun

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Who, I ask you, has the skill to come down with a raging sinus infection in 110 degree weather? Me, that's who.

When I can string sentences together coherently, I'll be back.