FOAD Thursday #4

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Fuck off and die, Indiana drivers. Do you see that 12+ inches of snow out there? That means it would be prudent to drive a reasonable speed, and leave plenty of following space between you and the car in front of you. Also, we get black ice every year, why do you act like it's some crazy, new phenomenon every year?

Fuck off and die, coworkers. I'm not your fucking commisary. If you wanted food, you should've bought it on your way here, like I did. Didn't anybody ever tell you how dangerous it is to try and finagle chocolate out of a pregnant woman?

FOAD Thursday #3

Thursday, September 21, 2006

A great, big, huge fuck off and die to Ford Motor Company for making a car that breaks down in three distinctly seperate ways at once.

On the other hand, a big thank you to the guys at Auto Zone for helping me figure out the best way to "temporarily" fix my car. Electrical tape is almost as handy as duct tape.

Also, fuck off and die whatever cosmic powers decided that pregnancy had to be so god-awful miserable. I've been living on a steady diet of chicken noodle soup and saltine crackers for over a week now. Ever so much fun.

FOAD Thursday #2

Thursday, August 24, 2006

It's this time again already?

Oh well, fuck off and die, annoying coworker. You know I bring the same thing to eat for breakfast everyday; in fact I've been doing it for over a year. You know that I pack exactly enough to satisfy myself. Your constant questioning whether I brought some for you is a pain in my ass. Especially when you get upset if I say no, but still try to play it off like a joke. You're not fooling anyone. You're a grown woman, I should think you'd be able to make your own breakfast, hopefully one that fits into your diet plan, like mine does not. Which you make sure to bitch about if I do share with you, while I'm still hungry. Grrr, you're so irritating!

Also, a big fuck off and die to the semi driver that forced me off the road yesterday. I understand that semis make wide right turns, and have no problem getting out of their way. But do you really need 40 feet to get back into your appropriate lane?

Inaugural FOAD

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I'm not much for regular features on a blog, but I have to say that "Fuck Off and Die Thursday" is something I could really get into.

I know I've been talking a lot about animals lately, and I'm going to continue the trend with my Fuck off and Die post.

Without any further ado, fuck off and die country superstar Troy Gentry. How dare you purchase a tame bear so you can stick it full of arrows, videotape it, and then edit the tape to make yourself look like a big-shot hunter? I personally think you should be stuck in a cage and shot full of arrows yourself. Maybe then we could videotape it and make the tape look like we tracked you, a la "The Most Dangerous Game." Eh, it's been done.