Bits & Pieces

Monday, August 07, 2006

Remember being 16? Imagine being 16 and having your mother tell the national news that you've "...never had a boyfriend and seemed to be content with that." I feel so bad for this girl when she has to go back to school.
Granted, this girl did something royally stupid, but come on Mom. It's at least half your fault for not following up with the daughter. I can only imagine how that would have gone in my house:

"Hey Mom; I'm going to Canada with some friends. I need a passport."
"The hell you are!"

And that would've been the end of the story.

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The spam gods smiled on me today. I got two emails in a row with subject lines of "Gold & Diamond" "And good for your penis" That deserves a chuckle.

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I spent a good bit of Friday with my foot firmly in my mouth. In fact, I discovered that lemon is the best relish for toe jam. Horseradish was a close second.
This is the reason why people think I'm stuck up so much of the time. It's not that I don't like talking to people, it's that I make inexcusable faux pas when I do. My choices are either to not talk or get drunk. And getting drunk doesn't stop the mistakes, it just stops me caring about them. Friday I made inappropriate jokes about death, masturbation and how pathetic one of my friends is. In the space of an hour. I'm just a thrill-a-minute, can't you tell?